Socialization, part 2

Dear Reader,

I posted here about 2 interactions my kids had which made me think about the whole socialization thing. Then I got interupted by my actual kids before I got to 3#. So here it is:

3. My kids were discussing their secret club with friends. My 6yo and another boy were arguing about some particuar aspect of it. Voices were getting louder and then the other boy leaned way over my guy and yelled his views loudly in his ear. My guy can be easily put off by things like this and this time was no exception (though apparently he doesn’t mind being spit on if you read the earlier post). He started crying and saying his ear hurt which I think was just from the yelling. I don’t think the other kid actually touched him. Anyway, what intrigued me most was that not 5 minutes later I saw this other little boy playing in a very loving way with his baby brother. So what I wondered is, what’s the difference? Which is the real kid? Now I am not really upset with my son’s friend. My own boy has been known to hit when he gets frustrated in a situation. They are little boys and things happen. I hope we are working on it. But what I see here is two paths. Which one will they go down? Will frustration with other kids cause them to get more and more aggressive? Or will compassion bred out of love for their own little siblings spread to their other interactions? I sure hope it’s the latter but I think any kid could go either way. I hope that in homeschooling we can be involved enough in our kids’ lives to guide their interactions. Maybe my kids don’t see as many other kids every day. Some days it may be only their siblings. But if these are really good relationships, if they learn to deal with problems that arise in these close, every day realtionships, surely that will carry over into the rest of their lives?? I know there are some people who stay in touch with friends they have known since early days. This has not been my experience and in our mobile society is probably not the norm. Rather than finding my kids a large number of friends now I would rather they learn how to have good, healthy relationships with the people close to them. And hopefully they will have life long relationships with their siblings though I know that is not always the case in families either.

Nebby

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