Diabetes Circus

Dear Reader,

It’s been a while since I posted about my dd’s diabetes (okay, I did post about the church’s pancreas, but I mean a post mainly about diabetes). Our pastor called us last night to check in and very kindly asked how Sparrow is doing with her diabetes. And my mind drew a blank. I tried to make faces at my husband, but he at least initially did not interpret them correctly. Later when he mentioned that we check her blood sugar in the middle of the night every night, he did correctly interpret the ugly faces I made at him over his use of the pronoun “we.” In my husband’s defense, he does, as I always say, his his one-seventh of the work. He does night checks Friday nights. Realistically, it just would not work for him to do more nights. He has to get up and be coherent and wakeful for work most days. And I know from the days of screaming babies that if he is supposed to get up, it often involves me first getting up and poking him for ten minutes till he is responsive and able to care for the child in question. So mostly it is just easier to do it myself. And I do find that if I am able to go for a while with one night check and at the same time evrey night, my body adjusts and I am able to get up and go back to sleep easily at that time. Of course, we never get very long stretches like this. Things are always changing.

Which brings me to what I actually was starting to say. I just never can seem to think of an answer to “How is Sparrow doing?” You would think I could come up with a set answer and just have it ready to repeat. There are just so many changes, daily, hourly sometimes, that it is hard to say. Over the long term, yes, she is doing well for her age. Her A1Cs are where the endo wants them to be. She is happy. She is healthy (apart from the diabetes). Nothing catastrophic has happened, either in the long-term complications arena or the short-term seizures and extreme low arena. But either of those is possible any time. Which is why we are always on our toes. Diabetes is a deep sea and even when the surface looks calm from the outside, we are swimming in it and can attest that it is never calm. The currents are always swirling around us, this way and that.

I am going to mix my metaphors now, because when I started this post I was going to compare diabetes care to a tight rope walk. I feel that I am always on my toes. When someone asks how things are going, I

a) am startled at the interruption in my walk and my mind goes blank .

b) know that from their outside perspective things might look okay. They see us moving forward over time and no one has fallen yet. In this analogy I picture the lion tamer working right under me and no net so that if we fall, all is lost.

c) want to say, “Well, I am really worried about the next inch. It looks pretty uneven and precarious. And then after that of course will come the next inch. But that is too far away for us to predict now what it will be like. So really I am just focused on this inch.” In this analogy an inch is no more than a day. If something else is going on like a birthday party or church event, the inch I am seeing is probably a few hours I am trying to make it through.

d) all of the above. Of course, this is the right answer.

And that is how Sparrow’s diabetes is going. Thanks for asking.


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