Why Marriage?

Dear Reader,

I have a friend who is divorced (her husband left; I don’t believe that she sinned in this) and is now entering into a serious relationship with someone new, probably headed towards marriage. So I have been thinking about marriage and what I would like to tell her about biblical marriage.

We Christians all know that the relationship between a husband and wife mirrors the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph. 5:23 “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body”). But have you ever asked why marriage at all? Why did God create these two different kinds of people, men and women? Why not make them all the same? Of course there is procreation, but God could have done that in other ways. He certainly did with some other organisms.

Here is the answer: God made us men and women and gave us marriage in order to teach us about Himself. Of course He teaches is about the church and Christ through this. But I think it also goes beyond that. The Bible teaches us that men and women are equal in status before God (Gal. 3:8 “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”) and yet wives are to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”). Does this remind you of any other relationship? Look at Philippians 2:5-8:

“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” (NKJV)

The Son was equal in status to the Father, yet He willingly humbled Himself and became obedient. In some ways I think this is a better analogy than the Christ and the church one. In that relationship, there is no equality in status. But what a wonderful and humbling example Christ is for us women! We need not say that we are less than men. Our value before God is the same. And yet we can willingly submit because Christ Himself did so. It is not something that can be forced from us. If submission is beaten out of a wife, literally or figuratively, it is not submission. The Father did not make the Son submit but He did it willingly.

The example of Christ and the church, I believe, is given primarily to husbands who are called to love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. But for us wives, I think we do better to look to the example of Christ as our role model in submission.

It is one thing to read about something and quite another to live it. Not all people are called to get married, but for those of us who are, I think the greatest blessing is that we are able experientially to learn more of God Himself through this institution.



One response to this post.

  1. […] that is not really how I believe marriage should be. I blogged on my view of marriage recently here. Part of me does wonder though if we should just let marriage go down this slope. Why not make more […]


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